After Bob's death, Fern chose to stay, being houseless - "If I left, it'd be like he never existed," she said, "I couldn't pack up & move on". Some who suffer from loss feel guilty about survival & regard recovery as a betrayal. The pains they cling to is an expression of loyalty. They need time with emotional support, not blame for being stubborn.
Three Rule for personel: 1.Don't have debt rise faster than income, because your debt burden will eventually crush you. 2.Don't have income rise faster than productivity, because you will eventually become uncompetitive. 3. Do all that you can do to raise your productivity, because in long term, that is what matters most.